Why I stopped
I did it. I stopped pumping and have gone to formula feeding. Why did I stop? I just didn't think it was worth my sanity. I was stressing about how much milk I was producing, getting my pumps in, not being able to care for Logan during the day because I was pumping, not eating enough (I have a serious lack of appetite and wanting to eat like I did before I was pregnant. I did a slightly strict 1500-1800 cal diet that was full of fresh veggies and fruits. Not very caloric but it's what my body wanted even with my vigorous exercise routine), bring a slave to a small machine, and always being in pain. I felt inadequate as a mom because I couldn't hold him. I wasn't "sleeping when the baby slept" because I saw it as a chance to pump therefore I was getting over exhausted. So I stopped. I put the cabbage leaves in my bra and packed up the pump. There are twinges of guilt that I'm not making the food for Logan myself but then I look at how much calmer I am and am thankful for that. My dad pointed out a good point today. He said "mom's are made out to be milk cows so their baby's can grow up big and strong. But I was a formula baby and I am plenty big. Moms are more than milk cows". There is nothing wrong with giving formula especially if breastfeeding isn't working out for you. Logan's doctor, along with others like my mom, warned me that breastfeeding might not work out for me because I had a stressful delivery and post delivery and that all would affect my milk production. So I stopped. I didn't need the added stress and there's nothing wrong with it. It doesn't matter where the food is coming from as long as I'm feeding my baby and taking care of him.